Life Beyond Thinking and Feeling

Our species thinks. Our species feels. Our species intellectualizes.

Is this real?

No! In the context of this piece it isn't real!

What we experience might not be real! How come?

Let me elaborate.

First consider this. What is the likely foundation of our thinking, our feeling, our intellectualizing?

I say Factor-x is likely at the bottom of everything and when we get beyond that, we are the foundation of everything that goes on in our lives. Read Factor-x and How It Comes About. Each one of us can be at the core or the source or the cause of our lives--if we choose to.

Before we make such a choice, remember that Factor-x is likely in charge. Factor-x as described in the article mentioned above, is based on a figment of our imagination.Thus our reality is likely based on a figment of our imagination. It is based on a false truth. Thus our lives are likely based on a false truth.

In wanting to convey this message, the following example came to mind. What I'm about to describe might not resonate with everyone. Nevertheless, it depicts how our lives are likely not based on reality.

I like the sport Rugby Union, or simply called, 'rugby'. This is a full contact team sport which originated in England in the early 19th century. (Read this Rugby article.)

I used to play the sport when in primary school and thought I did well, although I never excelled. I played a little in high school, and absolutely bombed at that level. I was just never fit enough. In fact, although I'm able to read what's taking place on the field, rugby never interested me more than as a spectator.

I'd like to draw on the rugby as an example of where Factor-x is the driving force. And show why things would be different if we could get beyond our thinking and feeling.

I'm using the sport here as an example, to demonstrate patterns that develop in our lives. Alas, our equivalent of the sport related example, is usually rife in all areas of our lives.

Look for yourself!

Is this basic sports example the underlying theme in your life? Don't be surprised if it is!

I'm demonstrating where we usually look and that looking at it that way doesn't help. Everything written about John below in the sports example, is fiction:

John realized when trying out for rugby, that he had a knack for it and several useful skills.

He had good vision for the game and could read the game well. He could kick the rugby ball well. He could easily run through the opponent's defensive lines and when he needed to defend against the opponent who was running at his team's defensive lines, he could easily read the opponent and therefore defend in such a way that hardly anyone ever got past him. From time to time, the coach even asked him to assist others in the team, in reading the opponent - to improve his team mates' defensive capabilities.

Because of his kicking capabilities, he was the team's main kicker.

Even though he seemed to have it all and was a super-star in the making, as it turns out he was actually pretty much average or below average. Unfortunately, he had one flaw in his game. And no matter what, he couldn't remove the flaw. He attempted for many years. As a result he usually got dropped from teams.

Then he had a stroke of good fortune and luck, and for many years that flaw more or less disappeared and he even made it to professional level.

After a few seasons, quietly wondering what had happened and why the flaw had disappeared, he noticed that when the pressure of the game was on, the flaw would creep back into his game and he would lose face and he of course would let the team down too. And here at professional level he couldn't hold his regular place in the team and found himself dropped to the bench.

The coach knew, he knew and everyone on the team knew, that apart from the one flaw, which over time became his Achilles' heel, he had talent that took a back seat to the flaw in his ability.

He couldn't catch the ball as naturally as his other rugby talents came.

Although John was able to cut through the opposition defensive lines with ease, he had to first catch the ball. It was useless if he didn't have the ball in hand.

Whenever he couldn't catch the ball, ever since he had played at school, he'd start beating himself up and considering what the coach would think of him and what his team mates would think of him. This would drive him to the point where he couldn't think straight. As a professional, he had worried about losing his position temporarily on the team, worried about relegation to the bench. And worried about losing his place permanently on the team. That of course would affect his earnings, seeing as it was his main source of income.

When playing at school and this happened, he'd had similar thoughts. Those worries included the fear of losing something that worked for him. You see he daren't fail in the one thing that worked for him; that confirmed his self-esteem. Where would he fit in if he didn't have the sport?

Thus, as can clearly be seen, the worrying was overwhelming, debilitating and took over his life.

All he now wanted was to catch the ball. Failing that had disastrous consequences.

In his mind he had already lost his place on the team. His feelings were overwhelming to the extent that they took over his life. Intellectualizing didn't help him either.

The fact that he wasn't able to consistently catch the ball would lose him his position on the team. Losing his income. Losing something that meant lots to him. Thus he was just not cutting it and his life would fall apart for the umpteenth time.

These are all the things that happened inside him. Nothing happened in real life yet. This was just his own inner workings playing havoc on him. His imagination running away with him. Based on his Factor-x driving his life.

Alas, although it was just in his imagination, in his thinking and in his feelings, he could not control it. Thus, to him, his life fell apart. It was real to him, because Factor-x was the driving force in his life.

Is this a pattern that you are used to in your life too? Albeit only happening every now and then? Sometimes more regularly than other times?

Let's dissect the sports dilemma which ruled John's life. What is his problem? Is it that John can't catch the ball? Be honest, I'm certain you felt that all that was needed was that he learnt to catch the ball. Yes, and that is so, but learning to catch the ball was merely addressing the symptom of what was ruling his life.

No! No! No! No! That does not help in the long run.

John needs to address the cause: unrelated to catching the ball.

What he needs to address is what transpires because he cannot catch the ball.

Which is in fact unrelated altogether to him not being able to catch the ball.

Not being able to catch the ball awakens in him a lifelong feeling - the feeling that he is a failure.

Is that true? Is he, John, a failure because he cannot catch the ball?

No! He's not a failure. Period. Whether he can catch a ball or not, John is John. He is not graded or measured by anything. Not being able to catch the ball is merely the outcome of an event and not a measure of who John is. John is and will always be John.

If he cannot learn to catch the ball almost every time, it merely means that he won't be able to play rugby as he wants to.

If he can get his head around the fact that not catching the ball has nothing to do with him being a failure whatsoever, then maybe he can remove the resultant pressure he places on himself.

With that pressure removed, maybe he can have fun while learning, as opposed to: the whole world weighing down on his shoulders because he can't catch the ball.

Thus the crux of the matter is not that he cannot catch the ball. The crux is what he believes about himself when this happens.

Assuming for a moment that he wants to continue playing rugby, and that he can fix the one element in his game that doesn't work, so he can go on to become a successful professional rugby player until he retires, John needs to address the cause by going beyond his thinking and feeling, and the intellectualizing that transpires when he doesn't catch the ball.

Is it possible that you can see that while John goes about learning to catch the ball and he misses, that he'd likely have fun and laugh at how he viewed himself before--that he was a failure for not being able to catch the ball?

Getting beyond the thinking and the feeling is likely to result in us having fun while overcoming something we're not good at that we'd like to learn. Or even while journeying down new avenues in our life and encountering hurdles.

Now for the difficult part.

Getting beyond thinking and feeling and intellectualizing might be something just like with John wanting to catch the ball. Something we might not be able to do. And let's say at first it seems difficult to overcome. Possibly even seems impossible to overcome.

Thus, say no matter what you did you just couldn't get it right easily, like in John's case: Certainly you can see how it was counter-productive that he beat himself up. Worked himself up into a frenzy. And that none of that helped. But by realizing he wasn't a failure, no matter what transpired, he could go about learning to catch the ball unhindered by what he usually dumped on himself. And possibly even have fun!

Learning to get beyond thinking and feeling and intellectualizing as mentioned, falls right into that same category. If you do not succeed getting beyond thinking and feeling you're NOT a failure. It's just that you're now required to look at life differently and you're not able to do so as yet.

John can continue dumping on himself and laying it on himself, or merely see it for what it is - that it isn't a measure of himself because he can't get it right. And that with practice he'll likely get beyond thinking and feeling. And then he'd be much better off for it.

Because, firstly, he won't be carrying the weight of a false belief.

He won't be wanting to catch the ball or go beyond thinking and feeling because he wants to prove he's not a failure: he'll just want to do it because he freely chooses to - making it much easier for himself to achieve--without carrying the extra weight.

Before, he was beating himself up and would want to hide; isolate himself, figure out how to catch the ball, all the while carrying the weight of his belief that he was a failure. Not a pleasant state to be in at all.

As with John, it is time that you got beyond your thinking and feeling. Those are all likely based on your Factor-x. Because of how you view yourself, based on your equivalent of not catching the ball.

And remember what I mentioned above: this one example, not catching the ball and how it makes John feel; is this likely the case with everything you do where the outcome isn't how you'd like it? And that it then makes you feel awful?

I bet, in your own life, whatever your Factor-x feeling is, you likely have your related feeling when things don't go according to plan or your wanted outcome, or expectations you put on yourself, or expectations someone else might place on you.

Fact is, that is a figment of our and your imagination.

Catching the ball won't let you overcome that, oh yes, it would momentarily--until another unmet expectation materializes and you're back into the horrid feeling again. It's not getting something right that can permanently remove the thinking and the feeling--no matter how real it seems--it is addressing the thinking and the feeling and the intellectualizing that you need to get beyond. Once John sees that and works with that, then goes learning to catch the ball - if he misses, he realizes he's not a failure. And if he struggles to get beyond the thinking and the feeling he also realizes that's not because he's a failure.

It's merely something new that he's learning, and not getting it right doesn't make him or anyone a failure. It just means that he or you are still learning to get beyond thinking and feeling - in John's case thinking that he's a failure.

The feeling that you may have in a similar such situation, likely has a different description to John's.

During the times when we isolate ourselves, shutting off, we likely feel tired and sleepy and sometimes even dizzy because we've cut ourselves off from reality.

The reality is merely… I can't catch a ball and I feel I'm a failure because of this. Then, instead of addressing the false truth (which is not the reality) I negate myself and want to learn to catch the ball and thereby prove I'm not a failure (which is an attempt to disprove the false truth).

See it like this: we stop participating because of the above dynamic. John felt like a failure, therefore, though he wanted to participate, the feeling of being a failure was too much to bear, so he wouldn't participate in his own life. He'd look for ways to prove he wasn't a failure--which by the way is impossible to prove--because it isn't true.

And as a result of not participating we get into habits that aren't beneficial in our lives. You know what habits you have.

John has the option to participate, starting by recognizing he's not a failure. Breaking his patterns. And as he participates, he'll see his, 'crutches' e.g. his habits, dissipate.

And in your case, see for yourself how this works.

Rest assured, as when a baby learns to walk, the baby will fall. No good beating yourself up about it when you fall. Get up and attempt to walk again: recognizing that you didn't fall because of [your equivalent of] being a failure: you merely fell, doing something you'd like to do, but don't yet know how to.

Oh, and then there is the unfortunate direction we tend to take. Making ourselves believe that catching the ball isn't for us and walking away from it. Giving up on ourselves because [our equivalent of] being a failure is too heavy to bear.

When we're going for what we want, but struggle to get it right, we need to be willing to be vulnerable. Be willing to make fools of ourselves. Be willing to have fun with our struggle: thus where people laugh at us for not being able to catch the ball but we still persevere, even laughing at ourselves: then we're being real.

And we even beat ourselves up for what we might have done in the past. Why? That feeds right into us feeling [the equivalent of] being a failure. Again, why?

As we renounce what we'd have liked to do, either by stopping, isolating ourselves or beating ourselves up, what tends to happen is we spin a web of decoys and one thing leads to another; before we know it, we've developed some ailment, somewhere in our body as seen with Holistic Ailment Awareness!

We feel we'll be happy when we shake the habit, or when we learn to catch the ball.

No! That isn't how it works. That is treating the symptom.

We need to first be happy in ourselves, then we'll likely learn to catch the ball without any of the unreal weight we dumped on us before. Or we can deal with anything we choose to deal with, fairly easily--because it would be without the dead weight we carry while wanting to disprove [our equivalent of] being a failure. Because we're merely doing it and even likely having fun while 'struggling to master' whatever it is we're 'learning' to do.

Remember, while Factor-x is in charge and the driving force, we give power to it to forcibly remove us from our lives. WE GIVE POWER TO IT. Thus while this is still happening, our belief [in our equivalent of] being a failure is true. We thus believe we're a failure. That is why and how we give it power to drive our lives.

Sadly, another phenomenon materializes. We start believing the ailment is real and of course it is real, but not of its own accord. We gave it life. We created it, thus we can uncreate it. In the reverse. WE CAN TAKE THE POWER AWAY FROM IT.

Thus, as in my example above, John felt that because he couldn't catch the ball he was a failure--merely uncreating that belief--uncreating the belief that he's a failure, would have the outcome that he'd likely catch the ball and that it would become fun to learn. All else falls into place automatically.

We might struggle to uncreate [our equivalent belief of] being a failure. Same as above, merely seeing it as learning something new and not succeeding at first, takes away the weight we put on ourselves and removes its potency.

Alas, if we just attempt to stop the habit or as in John's case, feel that not catching the ball is the whole problem, our beliefs win and control us, and reoccur in other guises later on. THIS IS THUS NOT THE PLACE TO START!

Getting beyond the thinking and feeling and intellectualizing is where we need to start. Because the aforementioned makes us out to be [our equivalent of] a failure. That is a false truth we mistakenly created and adopted, based on the behavior of our caregivers, starting early on in our lives.

And now, it stops our participation in life because of us being scared of being scared.

John also went through another phase:

When he stopped because it was crucial to him not to have the feeling of being a failure. Now he was in trouble--well that was how he saw it. He couldn't get it right in catching the ball, plus he couldn't shake his feeling of being a failure. Now he had double trouble. And he would then stop participating so he'd not have the feeling of being a failure with the second thing he was attempting: Getting beyond his thinking and feeling.

Rest assured we then make ourselves believe all sorts of things. Justify to ourselves that we don't want to learn to catch the ball; that we don't have the capacity for whatever we're busy with. That the ailment is real and we can do nothing about it. Whereas all that has happened is that we can't get it right just yet.

Oh, and rest assured we can stop wanting to do whatever it is we're attempting. Then stop the next thing and so forth, until we've stopped almost all things: just because we don't want to face the facts. And years later, just maybe because we're not living, we might have an ailment so big it rules and ruins our lives.

No matter what, things aren't going to go our way all the time or even most of the time. Thus we're always going to have unmet expectations. It is how we deal with those expectations that will determine the quality of our life. If unmet expectations make us feel like John, [or our equivalent of] feeling a failure, then our quality of life is in jeopardy. Or we can see the origin and get beyond the thinking and feeling and intellectualizing, and become real.

If you identify with the above and would like assistance with how you are approaching your life, and to get beyond your thinking and feeling and free yourself, why not take up this journey to see how this translates in your life?

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